Day 27 - Feeling ... off

I feel like crap today.

I don't feel bad, not anything that I can point to definitively and say "That's what's wrong with me!", but ... not right. And my enthusiasm for just about anything has evaporated.

I feel very tired - and I really shouldn't as I had plenty of sleep last night

I feel like I'm a million miles from the rest of the world. It's hard to think, it's hard to focus, it's hard to connect with other people - it feels sort of like it feels when I'm drugged up to the gills to alleviate the symptoms of a cold or allergies, except without the drugs and the residual symptoms.

I hate feeling this way, and I wonder if perhaps I'm fighting off something and just don't know it yet.

I think, tonight, I'm going to bed early.

Day 26 - High Fructose Corn Syrup

I'm in a better mood today - thanks all for your support - you rock!

A friend forwarded this article to me: http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07/

For those who have read The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, there is evidence that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) has negative effects beyond just another way of calorie loading. Apparently, when compared to sugar solutions, rats gained more weight on HFCS! The inference being "that excess fructose is being metabolized to produce fat, while glucose is largely being processed for energy or stored as a carbohydrate, called glycogen, in the liver and muscles."

Hmmmm. Another reason to avoid many processed foods ... and drinking your calories.

Day 25 - In a bad mood

So - I feel off the wagon this past weekend.

I have no excuses, no particular reason - I just couldn't muster the energy on Sunday or Monday. For either the workout, or the diet.

I imagine it is mostly me: I need a vacation, I'm still dealing with grief in unexpected pockets, and I have too much on my plate at work. I know a good diet and exercise help me deal with stress and give me the energy to manage ... but ... sometimes it's hard. Especially with days like today, when I really feel hammered AND I did everything right: I got enough sleep, I've eaten well, and I did my workout (and with a great run in a finally cool morning).

Am I the only one that just dreads the kicks? They are seriously kicking my ass, and are really what makes me not look forward to my workouts each morning. When are they going to get easier?

Hmmm. Perhaps I'd better stop whining now.

At least it's a brilliantly beautiful day! And I remember to vote this morning!

Day 22 - Hot and Bothered

Well, not so much bothered :)

I woke this morning and immediately jumped into my workout. For two reasons:

1) It's been and going to be ungodly hot and humid out (86F right now) and better to work out while it's cooler

2) I went to go plant trees and shrubs and lay down mulch in Camden from 9-12 and wanted to get my workout out of the way.

It was loads of fun, but messy and HOT on top of all that mulch!

Day 21 - Interesting post about stress ...

On a blog I read occasionally by Steven Barnes Dar Kush, a science-fiction writer/martial artist/TV writer/philosopher, he had a post with interesting thoughts about stress:

One of the most fascinating things about stress is how it seems to be a living thing, plotting and planning to worm its way deeply into your existence. It will dissuade you from performing the precise actions necessary to keep stress from becoming strain: you will do what is imperative (short term emergency) rather than what is important (long term benefit). And trust me, there is absolutely no end to the short-term urgent in life. This is one of the reasons that people can have a fantastic amount of difficulty meditating. Anything and everything seems more important, including cutting your neighbor's cat's toenails. Bizarre. And it is all fear. If you clear away all of the superfluous "stuff" what remains is the responsibility to be in alignment with BOTH your childhood dreams and the ultimate values you will embrace on your deathbed. When both the child you were and the ancient you will become agree upon your daily actions--well, you pretty much have life nailed.

That is exactly what has been going on in my head/life recently, finding it so hard to stop, take a moment, and decide to not be distracted by small details.

Sigh. So, despite having piles of work to get through, I'm taking a holiday on Monday - which makes this a long weekend JUST FOR ME!

I can't express how much I'm looking forward to this.

Day 20 - Whipped

All week it has been hot and muggy, which I hate. I'm a cold weather baby, so when it's hot and humid, I am significantly less enthusiastic about working out. Blech.

And today - I felt whipped.

For pretty much all of the strength, cardio, or agility exercises I had to REALLY push to get through them all, and had a significant drop in form in the last (few) set(s). I think I can really use the lighter day tomorrow. Oh my, yes.

And by whipped, I mean this: I worked out; I took a shower; I prepared my food; and,

I took a nap.

and then I went to work.

But at last: Gazpacho!

(adapted from The French Laundry Cookbook)

Mix:

• chopped red onion
• chopped green pepper
• 1/2 chopped English cucumber (the long skinny ones - others are fine, these have less water and seeds)
• chopped tomato
• 3 mashed garlic cloves
• 1/4 tsp cayenne
• 1/4 c tomato paste
• 1 Tbl wine vinegar
• 6 Tbl olive oil
• 1 Tbl lemon juice
• 3 c tomato juice
• salt to taste

let marinate overnight. Eat as is, or blend.

Day 19 - The Quiet Experiment

I'm continuing my experiment with limiting my sound input. I did listen to my iPod this weekend on the drive up and back to Boston - it makes the time go by soooo much faster - and I listen on the treadmill, but I've not otherwise been listening to extraneous noise.

I think it's making a difference to my inner tension, but am not sure - and so am prolonging the experiment. I figure I'll know better after a full weekend without the distraction - and I'm willing to do a lot to quiet myself down. I appear to have got myself wound up into a tizzy about things that I know, intellectually, are basically unimportant. But, alas, I can't just tell myself to let it go and fret.

The workouts, the meditation, and (hopefully) the silence are helping a lot. Now what I really need is a vacation ...

TONIGHT will be Gazpacho night - as I discovered last night that I had no garlic and my tomato had grown unappetizing.

update - blast. Forgot the gazpacho needs to marinate. I'll have to wait until tomorrow to eat it.